Great news!

The Onion was not at all amused by my all-pirate-related headline list this week, so I can publish them here instead, for your enjoyment.

US Military Drops 20,000 Copies Of Treasure Island On Somalia

New York Times Hopes Piracy Crisis Lasts Long Enough To Use “Swashbuckling” In Headline

Obama Delivers Address To Somali Pirates In 3-Cornered Hat Made Of Newspaper

International Community Exploits Pirates' Known Fear Of Tick-Tock Sound To End Crisis In Somalia

Congolese People Hope Wizard-Robot-Astronaut Crisis Will Draw International Attention To Their Problems

Nation Briefly Interested In International Crisis Because It Reminds Them Of Childhood

Somali Internet Piracy Just A Symptom Of Wider Somali E-Problems

Delighted Somalians Divide Treasure Brought In By Pirates

French Navy Uses Telescope Made Of Old Toilet Paper Roll To Locate Somali Pirates

O/E: Point/Counterpoint: Yarr, I'm A Pirate! By Captain Hook vs. I Will Carry Your Head On A Spike Through The Streets Of Mogadishu, By Ismail Hassan, Somali Pirate