Thursday, October 30, 2008

Thou Shalt Not Covet

But all I want is earrings that look like a hat and a hat that looks like earrings.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Poll update

I feel like whether you're voting for Barack Obama or a semicolon (currently tied), you're really just voting against McCain.

Saint Snuffles

You can see more images of pious pets here.

The makers of the site explain: "The idea on how to pay tribute to pets was realized by the ability of making small cards that depict different pets as saints."

Sure, I get it.

Brand Names Rejected by Honest Tea:

Unwieltea (comes in an enormous bottle)
Calamitea (whatever you do, don't open the bottle)
Adversitea (proceeds go to orphans)
Difficultea (hard to digest)
Dirtea (is that even tea floating around in there?)
Smuttea (inside of label conceals picture of naked woman)
Tragetea (made with real tears)

A fierce response to Obama's closing argument

The McCain campaign has seized on the advertisement as excessive, with Mr. McCain pointing to reports that Mr. Obama’s infomercial would bump back the World Series on Fox by 15 minutes. “No one will delay the World Series with an infomercial when I’m president,” he said, in Hershey, Pa.

He went on to note that two-day delays due to inclement weather would also be prohibited under a McCain Administration.


That's the idea.

Thursday, October 23, 2008


Greenspan admitting he was wrong about deregulation is almost like getting all that money back.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

David Sedaris on undecided voters

"To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked."

Read the rest of the article here.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Results of our latest poll

Semicolons have widened their lead over asterisks in the past several days, probably because of better funding and a strong grassroots movement on the ground.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Best named British knight

Sir Thomas Stamford Bingley Raffles

It's not fair

of me to post this candid shot of McCain.

But then again, it's not fair of McCain to condescendingly call pregnant women who want abortions "young women," who must be treated with "compassion" as they "face this terribly difficult decision." I suppose it's implied that the decision is only difficult for them, seeing as how Mr. McCain and his wife Cindy, who know what's best for the startled and confused young women of the world, will be making the decision on their behalf--to have the "courage" to give birth.

p.s. another good point by Dahlia Lithwick of Slate:

"In discussing abortion, [McCain] started sneering about the trickiness of allowing exceptions for the mother's health. No nuance here. Just the bold implication that all health exceptions represent some kind of female trickery. Last time I checked, women thought their health was sort of important. Toss in his eye-crossing claim that anyone who supports abortion rights is, by necessity, not going to be qualified to sit on the Supreme Court, and it was time to kiss women voters goodbye. "

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

There's something primal in my response to these images

It makes me want to stockpile bananas.

How will they find an unbiased jury?

A lawsuit against God.


Recently discovered typos:

From an old cover letter I wrote:
"In this position, I would write advertising coffee."

From the website I work for:
"When the marshmallow is heated, the sugar begins to brown in a process known as cartelization."

"This is a famous and perplexing question called Olber's Paradox, named after a German astronomer named Wilhelm Olber's."

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

I have my finger on the pulse of the people who read my blog

Why are you all so viciously pro-semicolon? Who cares about semicolons?

Friday, October 3, 2008

Thursday, October 2, 2008

On punctuation

"The semicolon is ugly, ugly as a tick on a dog's belly. I pinch them out of my prose." -Donald Barthelme