Thursday, August 28, 2008

Keep your thoughts about Miley Cyrus to yourself

It’s days like these, when I feel stifled by my own inadequacy—“Thursdays”—that I like to list people who were older than me when they achieved things:

Age 29 – Oprah Winfrey gets her own T.V. show

Age 30 – Steve Martin first appears on the Tonight Show

Age 30 - Kurt Vonnegut publishes his first novel, "Player Piano" (to be fair he was fighting in WWII and stuff)

Age 31 – Neil Simon writes his first play

Age 31 – Judy Blume publishes her first novel

Age 33 – Virginia Woolf writes her first novel, the Voyage Out

Age 34 – Margaret Edson produces her first and only play, “Wit”

Age 36 – Christopher Guest has his one-season stint on SNL

Age 36 – Dave Barry gets his gig writing a humor column for the Miami Herald

Age 38 – George Saunders publishes first collection of short stories

Age 40 - Eric Carle publishes "The Very Hungry Caterpillar"

Age 45 - Roald Dahl writes "James and the Giant Peach"

Age 46 - E.B. White publishes his first children's novel (never mind that the New Yorker printed his first essay at age 26)

Age 57 – George Washington becomes president

I’m gonna flip out when I turn 40.


Envelopes with someone's first name on them, underlined, almost always contain money.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Activities for Less-Thrilling Thrill Seekers


Flood Chasing

Joining a Bicycle Gang

Safari in Suburban Pittsburgh

Carp Diving in a Carp-safe Cage

Friday, August 22, 2008

Take the Obama Challenge


You big jerks

A school in Tennessee is providing free iPhones or free touch iPods to its incoming freshman. They were so excited! Look at their chubby little faces!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Wait, Jamaica does want more glory--stop the presses!

This corrected NYTimes headline reflects a commitment to getting the full story on how committed Jamaica is to the procurement of additional glory:
CORRECTED: Jamaica Seek More Glory After Bolt Double

Maureen Dowd finally loses it

I hope that this is on the "Most Emailed" list because people are astounded by how crazy this woman is.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Improv Everywhere

Check out this Improv Everywhere prank with UCB performers. I don't know how old it is, so maybe I just happened to miss the boat, but this is definitely my favorite Improv Everywhere prank ever.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Overenthusiastic or something more sinister?

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Republican John McCain's wife has been treated for a ''minor sprain'' after someone at a campaign event in Michigan shook her hand firmly.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

That's what Ratko Mladic said

Orlando Bloom has agreed to star in a film about the Sarajevo siege of the early 1990s. Here's what he had to say about the city:

"Hopefully, we can get this movie to be made at the end of this year. To come here and shoot would be just wonderful," he said.

Monday, August 11, 2008

The Great Manet-Monet Debate

Came across this while researching Monet and Manet for work:

Today I was exposing my third grade art class to the exquisite, Impressionist water lilies of Monet's late work. They were enthralled. I even wore my Monet necktie with water lilies on it (which impressed them somewhat less than the slides). Afterwards, I mentioned that another artist from approximately the same era who sometimes worked in an Impressionistic style was Eduoard Manet and that some people confused Monet's work with Manet's.

I was somewhat startled when a little girl in the back of the room commented that she didn't think Monet's work looked anything like Manet's. I was quite curious about her seemingly very astute observation, especially inasmuch as I'd not even shown them any paintings by Manet. I questioned her further, asking her where she'd ever seen any Manets. She replied, "In our refrigerator."

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Little Known Battle Cries of the American Revolution

Boston Harbor a tea-pot tonight! – Samuel Adams

Ack! – Paul Revere

Quartering sure sounds bad! – Abraham Whipple

Taxation without representation, hurrah! – the British

This one’s for the British Royal Proclamation of 1763, suckers! – George Washington

They’ll call this Massacre Day! – anonymous colonial militiaman

Hey, those rocks really hurt! Cut it out! – Thomas Preston (British Captain present at Boston Massacre)

Also, a little known celebrity who fought for the Patriots, Jack Black: